Here is today, the first day of the new year 2016 and I’m taking a moment to reflect…. Wow, I can’t believe its another year passed! What a year 2015 was!
Just a year ago today, Joel and I were praying into having another baby and so 2015 was our year with Kyra Jean! It has seriously been the most difficult year of my life but a very necessary year! Yes we welcome this new year but a part of me is sad because 2015 was Kyra’s year and I want to hold on to it.
I would say I have learned so much within this year….about myself, my family and friends but most of all about LOVE! To love so much that it hurts! I feel like I got a small teeny tiny glimpse of what God feels over us! I fell so deeply in love with Kyra Jean from the moment we prayed for her a year ago and every moment with her, I just fell more…. Her little life showed me love in a big way, love that was selfless, love that was enduring, love that was long suffering and love that needed to be given to God first!
It is hard for me to look back through this year without tearing up, because I miss Kyra Jean so much! But in the midst of the pain I smile….. I smile because Kyra’s life will live on in me! When I look at Joel being a father to our boys, when I look at Elijah and Isaac with all their amazing quirks, when I see a butterfly in the air….I see Kyra with us! We were blessed to have this little girl chosen by God to be with Him straight away! What an honour for her, she wont have to stand trial on judgement day…. She is pure! To know that, right now, she is where we are striving to be, helps me through the rough days!
A certain pastor said this over losing his own daughter “that we are holding their hands if you really think about it, if we hold onto Jesus then we are holding onto our loved ones that are with Him, they are right there with Him right now”
So reflecting on my 2015 I see that I was blessed and honoured this year to be a mother to my daughter that was chosen to be with Jesus! Of course I hurt and will forever hurt but it has only made me more determined in my life to love more, to seek God more, to be a better version and to do His will. I have found hope in the fact that even one person’s life can make a huge difference…Kyra Jean didn’t breath a breathe here on earth but her little life speaks volumes everyday and has for sure made such a huge difference! I love that she will leave a legacy and hopefully my family and I can do something amazing with it!
For now though it is just one day at a time for us as we are still learning the new normal that we live…
So here is to you, may God touch your life in an extraordinary way this 2016 year! Whatever may come this year, I pray you seek Him in all things! Let Jesus be your first response!
Again I want to thank you all for journeying with us through our difficult year! You are a blessing!
Our journey is not over, it has only taken a different route than what we had originally planned….